This is Part 4 of our series on the Love Languages. Want to start at the beginning? Click here for Part 1.

Our next “Love Language” is Quality Time. Get excited…this is the easiest one to learn! If you have ever watched ABC’s hit television show “Shark Tank”, you have heard many times that “time is our most precious asset”. Everyone wakes up with same 24 hours to use for the day and when it’s gone, it is gone. You cannot buy more time, exchange it, bring it back or rewind. If your significant other’s “love language” is quality time, you should feel great about yourself! They aren’t looking for gifts, compliments, or acts of service; they simply want a piece of you. But it has to be the right piece of you!

The main thing to focus on here is focus itself. Togetherness and quality time has to do with focused attention. For this “love language” it is quality over quantity. Just because you are in the same room at the same time does not mean you are spending quality time.

Here are five steps to help you!

1. Maintain good eye contact- This will help you stay focused and prevent you from “wandering”.

2. Do not be preoccupied in doing something else- you need to give your undivided attention. If it is not a good time, or you are in the middle of something, you can try saying “I know this is important and I want to give you my undivided attention, but I need to finish this. If you give me a few minutes we can sit down and talk”.

3. Listen for feelings- what emotions are they trying to communicate. Hear what they are saying with compassion and without judgment.

4. Body language- It is 80% of communication. This is a must have skill to learn in order to properly receive the message. Avoid sitting slouched in the corner on the opposite side of the couch, and try sitting close in arms reach, offering a touch of “I’m here” every now and again.

5. Do NOT interrupt. Sometimes you need to swallow your pride and listen first. Figure out what’s really being communicated. Sometimes just offering an ear to listen is all your significant other will need from you.

Quality time can also be spent doing fun activities. Activities that you both enjoy doing! It’s not about what you’re doing, rather it is more about why you’re doing it. A huge plus from doing quality activities is that you are also making valuable memories that you will share forever. Surprise your significant other with tickets to a movie. Be spontaneous and go on an adventure, just the two of you!

“A couple playing tennis together, if it is genuine quality time, will focus not on the game but the fact that they are spending time together. What happens on the emotional level is what matters. Their spending time together in a common pursuit communicates that they care about each other, that they enjoy being with each other”.(Chapman: 82) This means no texting, snap chatting, liking your friends newest post on Instagram, or asking your friends to tag along. It’s just both of you enjoying each other.

In this busy life we live, how do we make quality time? You make it! You have to make time to eat lunch and dinner. You make time to sleep. Why? Because they are necessary, and it’s necessary to have quality time with your significant other if that’s the “Love Language” they speak!

This concludes Part 4 of 5 of our “Love Languages” series. Click HERE for Part 5!!

-The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman-