5 Ways To Show Love This Valentines- Part 2
This is Part 2 of our 5 part series on the Love Languages. Want to Start at the beginning Click here for Part 1.
“Love Language” number two is “gift” giving. Now before you start to laugh and say “of course everyone wants gifts” and “I’m not looking for a “Gold-digger”, listen up! The right gift according to Gary Chapman in the “5 Love Languages” is one that says “I was thinking about you. I wanted you to have this. I love you.” (Chapman:54) The impact of the right gift could last a couple of days and some could last a lifetime! The important thing is the emotional love that was communicated with the gift, not the gift itself.
I remember one time I went to the movies with some friends, we went to nerd out. My girlfriend couldn’t make it for some reason. I busted her chops all day for not being able to make it. The next morning before she got to her desk I left her a half-eaten bag of popcorn (let’s be honest no one can finish a large bag of popcorn by themselves) and a note that said “you missed a good one!”. Moral of the story: this wasn’t even something anyone would classify as a “gift” but the smile and laughter that followed was well worth it. My half eaten bag of popcorn was no “Gucci” bag, but it was a symbol of love and that I was thinking about her. And that is something that fills her “Love-Tank”. Other “gifts” I randomly left included a t-shirt, a flower, and a marble….Yes a marble. These were things that mean nothing to you, but to her had meaning because of something we did or talked about.
Now for the wrong way to give gifts. A gift is not a gift when it is given to “smooth” something over, when you have “ruffled the feathers”. Some people believe that gifts makes wrong doings right. Although in that scenario it probably won’t hurt but the gifts we’re talking about in this post is about “filling the Love-Tank”. At some point you may have thought “any connection between love and gifts” means sugar-daddy, gold digger, and materialistic. We are not trying to use gifts to “earn” love. The gifts in the receiver’s eyes are not just a bunch of valuables. To the receiver the gifts are reminders of the loved one’s affection in which they want to be surrounded by.
The thing I want to emphasis most is that when it comes to gifts, it truly is the thought that counts. So there isn’t an item that I can tell you that would work for you. You need to be thoughtful creative and imaginative on your own. That is one of the reasons why the gift is so meaningful for the receiver. It shows that you thought about them when they weren’t around, and that you care about them.
“Practice makes perfect.” Gift giving is definitely a skill, but lucky for you it’s one of the easiest to develop. One way to start is to write down all the gifts you have given that have gotten a great reaction. Look at those and see what aspects made that gift so great. Remember it doesn’t matter if the gift is big or small, because it is the thought that counts!
This concludes Part 2 of 5 of our “Love Languages” series. Click HERE for Part 3!!
-The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman-